So I would like to say these good decisions are adding up and they feel great!
Last night went shopping and with the help of my amazing sister I made good decesions! Salad stuff! Now I know most of you dont know this...but I am probably one of the worlds pickiest eaters. I hate all things green all vegetables and most anything that looks or smells "funny" I got spinish leaves, cucumber, carrots, chicken, crutons (fat free), cheese (fat free) and turkey bacon bits! I wasnt TERRIBLY excited about it but I said to myself "you can do this!" and I did and I was happy about it after and then I had yummy yogurt and a necterine for desert!
This morning Eggs! Yum and some strawberries. For lunch a turkey sandwich on 100 percent whole wheat bread and a banana and some more strawberries! Yum Yum Yum and I got home and was like "I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING EVER" so I whipped up some cherry pomagrant yogurt and went to town then I went for my walk
Now I will say my walk was shorter today (I took the short cuts) BUTT I did decide to truck it up the steep hill (only made it half way) that I dont normally go up and I ran for about 100 feet now...I know that's no feat of strength but I was proud and my heart wanted to come out of my chest! Also I went up and down the big stairs in front of my door (about 8 stairs) up then down up then down up then down and then I did my walk :D so that's pretty good Im not upset for taking short cuts cuz I pushed myself and it felt great!
Posted a fat picture of me on the Fridge today and 8 tips to getting in shape right next to it to sort of motivate me in those weak moments!
Josh asked me to get a pizza yesterday and I didnt and yesterday asked for me to pick up food out to eat and I didnt. I told him today "we are eating healthy from now on, weather you like it or not" he smiled and said he was proud of me....even if I am a pain in his ass! Also despite him being sick after a little pouting he got up and went walking with me! Im really glad he's here to walk with me!
My sister bought me a scale Im excited to get it (it's coming in the mail) not cuz I want to know how much I weigh...reallly not excited about that part, but because seeing the number go down will be even more of a motivation to me!!
So today has been a good day and Im feeling good! Love days like this now Im hungry for dinner so let me go make some more good decisions!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
keep on trucking....
So I am still walking despite the fact that I dont love it...matter of fact I dislike it....seriously people run for recreation. Crazy people.
Im sweating my legs are burning and my heartrate is thru the roof....I know I didnt walk far...but I walked. That's what matters yes? I got up and did it.
Eating right is so hard for me. I went to KFC for dinner last night -_- I last mintue thought "what am I doing" but Im too weak to turn around and also by this point very hungry. So I order grilled chicken instead of the delicious crispy I was going to get and Corn and Mashed potatoes. I put the mashed potatoes in the fridge (where my lovely boyfriend will grab them for lunch later) I should have eaten at home....I know but I didnt I couldnt have been worse off tho yes?
Today also....not so great. I typically have a small appitie but I over eat...I will feel full (stuffed at times) and still finish what is on my plate. I had Chicken and Dumplings and a baked potatoe -_- it was delicious! and then I ate gummy bears (they are one of my biggest weaknesses) I wish I had someone to tell me "NO!" but then I feel like I'd only fight with them "Shut up you cant tell me what to do!!!!" lol but still if they had the strength to endure my yelling I know I would realize they are right...and maybe buy the gummy bears because im stubborn but I wont eat them
I will admit tho doing this walkk after all that doesnt make me excuse eating wrong but it does help me forgive myself...I have to forgive myself...I am only human yes?
I wonder if my mom will leet me borrow her dust collector of a treadmill...hmmm I will call her later and ask I also need to invest in workout cloths...walking in jeans not such a great idea...also my brother mentioned an ankle brace and that might not be such a bad idea....better safe then sorry!
Anyways just wanted to update enjoy :D
Im sweating my legs are burning and my heartrate is thru the roof....I know I didnt walk far...but I walked. That's what matters yes? I got up and did it.
Eating right is so hard for me. I went to KFC for dinner last night -_- I last mintue thought "what am I doing" but Im too weak to turn around and also by this point very hungry. So I order grilled chicken instead of the delicious crispy I was going to get and Corn and Mashed potatoes. I put the mashed potatoes in the fridge (where my lovely boyfriend will grab them for lunch later) I should have eaten at home....I know but I didnt I couldnt have been worse off tho yes?
Today also....not so great. I typically have a small appitie but I over eat...I will feel full (stuffed at times) and still finish what is on my plate. I had Chicken and Dumplings and a baked potatoe -_- it was delicious! and then I ate gummy bears (they are one of my biggest weaknesses) I wish I had someone to tell me "NO!" but then I feel like I'd only fight with them "Shut up you cant tell me what to do!!!!" lol but still if they had the strength to endure my yelling I know I would realize they are right...and maybe buy the gummy bears because im stubborn but I wont eat them
I will admit tho doing this walkk after all that doesnt make me excuse eating wrong but it does help me forgive myself...I have to forgive myself...I am only human yes?
I wonder if my mom will leet me borrow her dust collector of a treadmill...hmmm I will call her later and ask I also need to invest in workout cloths...walking in jeans not such a great idea...also my brother mentioned an ankle brace and that might not be such a bad idea....better safe then sorry!
Anyways just wanted to update enjoy :D
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Falling off the bandwagon
...And here I am again.
So much to say and yet I'm not really sure how to word it all so if this becomes ramblings, I am sorry.
My sister has been losing weight Since Feb 09' and although I have a hard time showing it, the proudness I feel is rather intense. Anyone who has had a weight loss struggle knows how extremely hard it is to be able to overcome yourself and get on with what needs to be done. Every now and then you have winning moments and inspirational stories that give you the motivation you need to be successful in your weight loss journey but more then likely you find yourself in my shoes so eager to succeed until you see that delicious cupcake or the blanket on that couch that calls your name with a nice movie and a snack. You say to yourself "I WILL WORK OUT TODAY" and then computer games and telephone calls all of a sudden seem SO URGENT! And you're back to the "it can wait till tomorrow"
The line I've been struggling with is a bit more deep rooted. You see I am not like my sister I have, for as long as I remembered been "Plus Size" the smallest size I can recall buying myself is size 14 when I was in the 7th grade. Each year of middle and high school that number only increasing and at points decreasing a bit but never enough to really matter. And to be perfectly honest I don't really think I grasp the concept of how skinny or healthy actually feels...."You have always been fat you are always going to be fat" it plays like a broken record in my brain over and over taunting me every time I get a hint of encouragement...I end up falling back down "you have always been fat you are always going to be fat, get over it and move on"
My sister has documented her weight loss journey and all though it's not open for everyone to see she had the courage to share it with a select few for the time being. I read over her blog every entry for the last 9 months, I read them all last night...I read it and then I read it again. And by the time I was done I don't think I could possibly cry another tear. My boyfriend could not understand why I was so upset I am proud of her, in overwhelming amounts, I am encouraged, and I am oh so understanding of the weaknesses she's faced and out right AMAZED at the strength she has shown despite the slip ups and the frustrations that have come her way.
"you are fat you are always going to be fat get over it and move on" FUCK YOU. I will not always be fat, I don't have to be unhealthy. I don't have to have a heart attack before I'm 30. I don't have to use food as a blanket for my insecurities and bad days. I don't have to live with the fact that I cant ride roller coasters at 6 flags because my ass won't fit. I don't have to deal with the aches and pains that come along with this weight. I don't have to be out of breath every time I walk a flight of stairs. I don't have to not go skiing with my family because I cant, I don't have to miss out on my life because of this stupid weight. I can get off my ass I can take baby steps and I can do this. I can. And I will. I will do this. Not so that I fit into a size 14 not so that I look sexy to all the guys, not so that my family will be proud but for me. I will do this so that I can be happy so that I can live a long healthy life so that I can be the person on the outside that is cooped up inside.
Losing weight with make EVERY ASPECT of my life easier. And I've got to stop telling myself I will and then failing. I need to "go big or go home" so to speak.
Starting yesterday I will walk my neighborhood everyday for 2 weeks. I will get my body used to moving and my lungs used to breathing a bit more baby steps. After those 2 weeks I will start going to the Fitness Center and doing weight training along w/ my walking I will do this for 30 min a day for 2 weeks after those 2 weeks I will bump my time up I will walk further and train longer because my first step to a heal tier me is to get moving....so here I am I must hold myself accountable but I need you guys to hold me accountable as well I will not rely on you to succeed cuz I have to do that on my own but with every journey in our lives we must have a support system. Be my support system.
So much to say and yet I'm not really sure how to word it all so if this becomes ramblings, I am sorry.
My sister has been losing weight Since Feb 09' and although I have a hard time showing it, the proudness I feel is rather intense. Anyone who has had a weight loss struggle knows how extremely hard it is to be able to overcome yourself and get on with what needs to be done. Every now and then you have winning moments and inspirational stories that give you the motivation you need to be successful in your weight loss journey but more then likely you find yourself in my shoes so eager to succeed until you see that delicious cupcake or the blanket on that couch that calls your name with a nice movie and a snack. You say to yourself "I WILL WORK OUT TODAY" and then computer games and telephone calls all of a sudden seem SO URGENT! And you're back to the "it can wait till tomorrow"
The line I've been struggling with is a bit more deep rooted. You see I am not like my sister I have, for as long as I remembered been "Plus Size" the smallest size I can recall buying myself is size 14 when I was in the 7th grade. Each year of middle and high school that number only increasing and at points decreasing a bit but never enough to really matter. And to be perfectly honest I don't really think I grasp the concept of how skinny or healthy actually feels...."You have always been fat you are always going to be fat" it plays like a broken record in my brain over and over taunting me every time I get a hint of encouragement...I end up falling back down "you have always been fat you are always going to be fat, get over it and move on"
My sister has documented her weight loss journey and all though it's not open for everyone to see she had the courage to share it with a select few for the time being. I read over her blog every entry for the last 9 months, I read them all last night...I read it and then I read it again. And by the time I was done I don't think I could possibly cry another tear. My boyfriend could not understand why I was so upset I am proud of her, in overwhelming amounts, I am encouraged, and I am oh so understanding of the weaknesses she's faced and out right AMAZED at the strength she has shown despite the slip ups and the frustrations that have come her way.
"you are fat you are always going to be fat get over it and move on" FUCK YOU. I will not always be fat, I don't have to be unhealthy. I don't have to have a heart attack before I'm 30. I don't have to use food as a blanket for my insecurities and bad days. I don't have to live with the fact that I cant ride roller coasters at 6 flags because my ass won't fit. I don't have to deal with the aches and pains that come along with this weight. I don't have to be out of breath every time I walk a flight of stairs. I don't have to not go skiing with my family because I cant, I don't have to miss out on my life because of this stupid weight. I can get off my ass I can take baby steps and I can do this. I can. And I will. I will do this. Not so that I fit into a size 14 not so that I look sexy to all the guys, not so that my family will be proud but for me. I will do this so that I can be happy so that I can live a long healthy life so that I can be the person on the outside that is cooped up inside.
Losing weight with make EVERY ASPECT of my life easier. And I've got to stop telling myself I will and then failing. I need to "go big or go home" so to speak.
Starting yesterday I will walk my neighborhood everyday for 2 weeks. I will get my body used to moving and my lungs used to breathing a bit more baby steps. After those 2 weeks I will start going to the Fitness Center and doing weight training along w/ my walking I will do this for 30 min a day for 2 weeks after those 2 weeks I will bump my time up I will walk further and train longer because my first step to a heal tier me is to get moving....so here I am I must hold myself accountable but I need you guys to hold me accountable as well I will not rely on you to succeed cuz I have to do that on my own but with every journey in our lives we must have a support system. Be my support system.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)